Where did all the time go???

Hello Again!

It is so hard to believe that this journey of mine is nearing a close. I have a little over 2 weeks until I am on a plane heading back to Maui for a week of debriefing. I am definitely still keeping my focus here where it needs to be -- but I can't help but feel a pang of anticipation, especially because my sweet parents are coming out to celebrate my graduation with me, along with spending a week in Maui!!! YAYYY!
Since the last update, I have been in Pattaya, Thailand since January 23rd. My team and I have been teaching in an english class to prostitutes and bar girls. We have also been going out 3 nights a week into the bars to talk to the girls, to tell them why we are in Pattaya, to offer them the hope found in Jesus and to invite them to our english classes (Which are staffed by Christians). The girls are so sweet, they definitely do not belong in these bars. Some of them are just terribly desperate for money and they have families dependant upon their provision - at any cost. Many of the girls come from North Thailand - from villages where there are no jobs or money. Some of them are instructed by their very own parents to go to Pattaya to get an "easy" job in the bars to provide for the rest of the family. I have heard so many heartbreaking stories, some so unheard of that my mind just can't even wrap itself around the very words they tell me. All I can do is show them that I care, love them with the love that Christ has shown me and lead them in the direction of the Tamar Center - a Christian outlet that could provide them with a job in which they can finally rediscover their value, dignity and worth. (Things that are stripped away when they are taken by these men as nothing more than objects of sick, selfish pleasure. -- Leaving these women full of hope when they make false promises.. This is what makes me the most upset -- hearing some of the stories in which the men promise the women that they will come back and take care of them or intentionally making promises they know they will not keep. There have been so many girls that I could see the pain and the fear in their eyes, and in the eyes of other girls, they were just numb and empty. Another sad thing was that several that girls that I talked with were my age and younger.. many have just started working and I could see they were on the verge of tears when I asked them if they liked their job or if they were ever afraid. My heart absolutely breaks for these grils and I talk God with all that is within me that He chose to spare me from being born into this kind of life. It is truly only by His grace that I was born in a Christian family in America and not in the position of these girls in Thailand. It puts it into such a better perspective for me - to challenge me even more to put my all into this, to pour my heart into these girls and try to show them that there is a way out - Jesus is the way!! The Lord has been so good to me, I wish I could do so much more -- but the Lord is sooo full of grace and mercy.. His Holy Spirit is the one who will draw people to Him and extend salvation!!!
My hope is in Him that He will work in the hearts of thes women and reveal himself to them! It's hard not being able to see the fruit of my labor... but I've found peace and encouragement in the Lord. He is so compassionate and merciful and he constantly reminds me that though my heart breaks wanting to see these women come to know Him, His feelings are sooo much deeper and stronger! However, I have been encouraged this past week at church -- 2 women that have been coming to the Tamar Center received the Lord's salvation!!! :)
Switching gears now -- As part of the Maui DTS program - during the outreach portion, the team leader(s) leave for an undisclosed amount of time, providing the team with only an 8 hour notice that they are leaving. They do this in order for us to capitalize on our time here on outreach, making it truly our own. This allows us not to depend on our leader to motivate us or push us along. My leader Sarah met with me and another girl Ashlee (Texas) on the 30th and informed us that she was leaving in the morning and that we were the ones she chose to lead the team while she was gone! Sarah was gone for 6 days and leading was a positive experience overall.. The Lord has taught me so much through it. that I do have leadership skills and that He wants me to walk out in confidence, speaking truth into the lives of others. He has shown me the importance of depending on Him, seeking Him in every situation/decision, staying in constant communication with Him daily! I definitely respect my leader a lot more for the responsibilities that she has. It is so hard to fill everyone with passion and excitement...although it really should be up to the individuals to make the most of it themselves!
We are leaving Pattaya late Tuesday night (Feb. 12th) to take a van for 15 hours down to the very South of Thailand. We will be working with a new church down there, doing a lot of children's ministry. We will be leaving there on the 18th to make a Visa run to.. CAMBODIA!!! (they expire on the 19th!) That will be another VERY long day of traveling, but I'm excited to say that I got to visit this country! haha. Then, that same day, we will be traveling back to Bangkok for a few days of debriefing before we fly out on the 23rd to Maui!!
So... wow. That is the rundown of my life currently - in a nutshell. I can't believe I will be seeing all of your beautiful faces so soon! God Bless (Pra Jow way pon) haha. and take care!!!

Love,
Jessica

Back from M!!!

I just got back from M this afternoon.. the past 16 days have flew by in a blur. I had an amazing time in this country. It definitely was challenging - having to stay undercover and also because we were not allowed to share our faith or talk about God at all, except in specific 'safe areas'. It was really good for me though because now I realize how much I have taken for granted the freedom I have in America to my religion and to openly worship my God, my Creator! It was really sad to see the deception in this country.. pretty much everything they do is controlled by the government, there is no individuality and this place is ruled by fear. I'm not sure if anyone heard since they keep most of the news hush hush for the sake of their image. During our time there, there were 3 bombings in 3 separate cities. One of them took place in the city where we were staying, at a train station. There has not been any definite explanation to any of these events, but there has been rumor that they may have been purposely caused by the government to put fear into the citizens to keep them in line. They may have done this because there was another rumor that there was going to be another uprising with the monks, protesting against the government.. But we may never know because of the secrecy this country in under. Despite knowing everything that has happened in this country, what did happen AND what could have happened, the Lord was so faithful to me and He filled me with a peace that was unexplainable. There was not a moment when I had any fear... except maybe in the crazy taxi/truck rides.. the drivers here are unreal - you would have to see it to understand... haha. But anyhow - Yes, the Lord is so faithful to provide, when you put your total dependance in Him!!!
For the past few weeks, I have taught more English classes, and our group had the privilege of teaching Office/Administration Skills for a week. It was a little spontaneous, but we really pulled it together and were able to minister to our students. I went through a stage where I was feeling discouraged again because I still have yet to see salvations or supernatural crazy things.. But I really felt as if God was affirming me by showing me that He has called me here to Asia for a purpose. Although I may not be seeing any fruit from my labor does not mean that nothing is being accomplished. If He only called me M to for this time to create friendship with the students and to encourage and provide relief for the full time Christian instructors--if I was obedient with what He has given me to accomplish, then He is very pleased with me! Also I feel He has revealed to me that in order for change to come about in this country, it is going to take time and perserverance. Just because I came for 2 weeks does not mean that I am going to see instant fruit! Looking back now, that makes perfect sense..it is so natural for me in my western culture mindset to want to see things instantaneously..I got over that quickly! haha. I established many great friendships and contacts with people in this country. I admire the Christians here so much, they are so courageous and willing to do what the Lord instructs them to do. The local people are very sweet.. we again were like movie stars and we got stared at more than ever... it is so crazy. I have so many memories and stories about the people and this culture.. It just makes me laugh thinking back.. let me just tell you that everyone in this country wears a skirt to the ankles... men included. hehe.
Well I have so much more to say.. but due to limited time, I need to wrap it up. Plus - I want to save stuff to tell all of you when I get back!
I am in Bangkok for 2 days (I spend my 22nd Birthday here!!! I would have never in my life guessed I would have spent my birthday in another country -- a day ahead! So actually I guess in all reality I am actually celebrating a little early, but we won't get technical!) We leave here on the 23rd to head down to Pattaya for a month to begin our ministry to the bar girls and prostitutes. I will need a little extra prayer during this month, as this will probably be one of my biggest challenges thus far. I cannot stand seeing these white men walking around here with the young Thai girls.. it is sickening. However, the Lord loves these individuals just as much as He loves me - I need to maintain this perspective. They are lost and are in great need of the Lord and our prayers!!
You are all in my prayers!!!

How I'm feeling... [Honestly.]

Well, I just got done spending over 3 weeks in 3 different villages here in Thailand and my emotions are definitely going through a whirlwind right now. It's bittersweet because we are leaving the dirty and rough living conditions, but from now on we will be in cities... being from Guys Mills -- my preference would definitely be the village country living. It was so terribly hard to leave the people of the 3 villages. They were the sweetest and the most hospitable people ever. I really cherished the times that I was able to spend with these people and their children. The kids were amazing and their smiles put so much joy in my heart. I could sense a difference in myself when it was time to leave, part of my heart would harden up because I was silently bitter and angry deep inside because I don't understand what good it is doing to come and stay for a week and pour ourselves into these people just to turn and leave when they really begin to soften and open their hearts up to us. There is no doubt in my mind that God used us in big ways while being in these villages... it just breaks my heart to leave, knowing that we could have done so much more, given the chance that we would have had more time to share our lives, stories and knowledge with these people. On the bright side -- after leaving, I found out that these people were unreached people groups in Thailand and that we were the first group to come in and share the name of Jesus and His Word with these people! I pray that the hunger and the curiousity that I saw spark in the lives of these people continues to grow and that there will be ample resources for them to learn more about our Lord!