Back from M!!!

I just got back from M this afternoon.. the past 16 days have flew by in a blur. I had an amazing time in this country. It definitely was challenging - having to stay undercover and also because we were not allowed to share our faith or talk about God at all, except in specific 'safe areas'. It was really good for me though because now I realize how much I have taken for granted the freedom I have in America to my religion and to openly worship my God, my Creator! It was really sad to see the deception in this country.. pretty much everything they do is controlled by the government, there is no individuality and this place is ruled by fear. I'm not sure if anyone heard since they keep most of the news hush hush for the sake of their image. During our time there, there were 3 bombings in 3 separate cities. One of them took place in the city where we were staying, at a train station. There has not been any definite explanation to any of these events, but there has been rumor that they may have been purposely caused by the government to put fear into the citizens to keep them in line. They may have done this because there was another rumor that there was going to be another uprising with the monks, protesting against the government.. But we may never know because of the secrecy this country in under. Despite knowing everything that has happened in this country, what did happen AND what could have happened, the Lord was so faithful to me and He filled me with a peace that was unexplainable. There was not a moment when I had any fear... except maybe in the crazy taxi/truck rides.. the drivers here are unreal - you would have to see it to understand... haha. But anyhow - Yes, the Lord is so faithful to provide, when you put your total dependance in Him!!!
For the past few weeks, I have taught more English classes, and our group had the privilege of teaching Office/Administration Skills for a week. It was a little spontaneous, but we really pulled it together and were able to minister to our students. I went through a stage where I was feeling discouraged again because I still have yet to see salvations or supernatural crazy things.. But I really felt as if God was affirming me by showing me that He has called me here to Asia for a purpose. Although I may not be seeing any fruit from my labor does not mean that nothing is being accomplished. If He only called me M to for this time to create friendship with the students and to encourage and provide relief for the full time Christian instructors--if I was obedient with what He has given me to accomplish, then He is very pleased with me! Also I feel He has revealed to me that in order for change to come about in this country, it is going to take time and perserverance. Just because I came for 2 weeks does not mean that I am going to see instant fruit! Looking back now, that makes perfect sense..it is so natural for me in my western culture mindset to want to see things instantaneously..I got over that quickly! haha. I established many great friendships and contacts with people in this country. I admire the Christians here so much, they are so courageous and willing to do what the Lord instructs them to do. The local people are very sweet.. we again were like movie stars and we got stared at more than ever... it is so crazy. I have so many memories and stories about the people and this culture.. It just makes me laugh thinking back.. let me just tell you that everyone in this country wears a skirt to the ankles... men included. hehe.
Well I have so much more to say.. but due to limited time, I need to wrap it up. Plus - I want to save stuff to tell all of you when I get back!
I am in Bangkok for 2 days (I spend my 22nd Birthday here!!! I would have never in my life guessed I would have spent my birthday in another country -- a day ahead! So actually I guess in all reality I am actually celebrating a little early, but we won't get technical!) We leave here on the 23rd to head down to Pattaya for a month to begin our ministry to the bar girls and prostitutes. I will need a little extra prayer during this month, as this will probably be one of my biggest challenges thus far. I cannot stand seeing these white men walking around here with the young Thai girls.. it is sickening. However, the Lord loves these individuals just as much as He loves me - I need to maintain this perspective. They are lost and are in great need of the Lord and our prayers!!
You are all in my prayers!!!

How I'm feeling... [Honestly.]

Well, I just got done spending over 3 weeks in 3 different villages here in Thailand and my emotions are definitely going through a whirlwind right now. It's bittersweet because we are leaving the dirty and rough living conditions, but from now on we will be in cities... being from Guys Mills -- my preference would definitely be the village country living. It was so terribly hard to leave the people of the 3 villages. They were the sweetest and the most hospitable people ever. I really cherished the times that I was able to spend with these people and their children. The kids were amazing and their smiles put so much joy in my heart. I could sense a difference in myself when it was time to leave, part of my heart would harden up because I was silently bitter and angry deep inside because I don't understand what good it is doing to come and stay for a week and pour ourselves into these people just to turn and leave when they really begin to soften and open their hearts up to us. There is no doubt in my mind that God used us in big ways while being in these villages... it just breaks my heart to leave, knowing that we could have done so much more, given the chance that we would have had more time to share our lives, stories and knowledge with these people. On the bright side -- after leaving, I found out that these people were unreached people groups in Thailand and that we were the first group to come in and share the name of Jesus and His Word with these people! I pray that the hunger and the curiousity that I saw spark in the lives of these people continues to grow and that there will be ample resources for them to learn more about our Lord!